yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
