haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
