You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
