are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
