Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
