im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
