just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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