I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize