I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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