The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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