Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
