we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
