I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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