Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
In America we eat man semen.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
