Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
