so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
