Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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