went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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