Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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