I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
