Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
