And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
