I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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