I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize