i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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