I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and she was petting her beer can
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
