If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if only i could text you this smell
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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