I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize