you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
