o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
are you so shy because you have an std?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
