i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
