exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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