'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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