hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize