Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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