i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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