literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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