i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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