who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
