Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
