Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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