i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
