One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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