Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
