I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
