Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
