Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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