So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I love having hate sex.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
