He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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