Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
