are you so shy because you have an std?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
