please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
