is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
