North Korea, Best Korea!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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