I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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