i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
