What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
