Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
