the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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