She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
