Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
